4 Common Reasons Toddlers Don't Want to Poop in the Potty

Your child may have mastered peeing in the potty, but going poop on the toilet can be an entirely different story. Indeed, many toddlers refuse to poop anywhere except their diaper or training pants.

We spoke with experts about the reasons behind this common problem, with tips for encouraging your little one to poop in the potty.

Your Toddler May Not Be Ready for Potty Training

If your child refuses to poop in the potty, they might not be ready to lose the diapers, says Ari Brown, MD, co-author of Toddler 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for Your Toddler. Before you start the potty learning process, look for signs of readiness. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), these include:

• They stay dry for at least 2 hours during the day.
• They are dry after naps.
• They grunt, freeze, or squat when they get ready to pee or poop.
• They follow simple instructions.
• They can walk and help undress themselves.
• They ask to be changed out of wet diapers.
• They ask to use the potty.
• They want to ditch the diapers for underwear.

If most of these signs aren't yet present, it's probably not the right time to transition to underwear. Most US children are developmentally ready for potty training between 18 and 30 months. However, individual readiness signs are more important than age.

"There's no benefit to training if your child isn't ready or willing," says Kristin Hannibal, MD, clinical director of the division of general academic pediatrics at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. "Sometimes it's better to go back to diapers and try again in a month or two."

Your Toddler May Be Constipated

A child who has had even just one painful experience with constipation is likely to want to avoid the situation again. So, whenever they have the urge to go, they may attempt to hold in their poop and avoid pooping on the potty. This becomes a vicious cycle because withholding poop only makes it firmer, making it even more difficult and painful to pass later.

In addition to constipation, there are many reasons young kids may hold their poop in, including:

• Pain associated with pooping
• Illness
• Hot weather
• Changes in their diet
• Dehydration
• Travel
• Painful diaper rashes
• Unfamiliar environment or lack of privacy (such as public bathrooms)
• Distraction (they don't want to stop what they are doing to poop on the potty)
  

Visit a health care provider if you think constipation is causing potty training problems. Doctors usually recommend a gentle laxative for several days or weeks to clean out the backed-up stool and make pooping easier.

A high-fiber diet is also critical for long-term success—and you might be encouraged to add more fruits, vegetables, and water to your child's meal plan. A child withholding poop needs to have a consistent pattern of soft, comfortable bowel movements before potty training begins.

Your Toddler May Be Afraid of Pooping in the Potty

"Pooping into the toilet is scary for a lot of kids," says Adiaha Spinks-Franklin, MD, a pediatrician at the Meyer Center for Developmental Pediatrics at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. "They may feel as though they're losing a part of their body when they poop. Or they may not like it if the water splashes onto their bottom, or they may worry about being sucked into the toilet."

To help your child overcome their fears, Dr. Brown recommends this gradual step-by-step process:

1. First, allow your child to continue to poop in a diaper—but only in the bathroom.
2. After a week or so, let them poop in their diaper, but have them do it while sitting on the potty.
3. Next, cut a hole in the diaper with scissors just before putting it on your child, and let them wear it as they use the toilet. (It sounds silly, but they'll still feel the diaper's familiarity and security while their poop drops into the potty.)
4. After they've used the hole in the diaper for about a week, it'll be time for underpants!

Is your child more intimidated by flushing? Encourage them to practice with pieces of toilet paper, which familiarizes them with the sight and sound. You can also wait until they leave the room to flush.

Your Toddler May Want Control of the Situation

Some children would rather sit in a messy diaper and assert their power over the situation than go when and where they're told to go. Allison Chase, PhD, a psychologist specializing in children and families, says, "It's important to take a step back and avoid getting in a power struggle. Learning to disengage is an essential parenting skill."

Kids often feel powerless because everything is decided for them, like when they eat, when they go to bed, and when they go to the potty. Offering kids choices helps them feel like they have some control over their lives.

So, look for opportunities to offer small choices where your child can feel like they have a say. For example, "Do you want to wear the red undies or the blue undies today?" or "Do you want to flush, or do you want me to flush for you?"

Another solution is to take away the diapers and put your child in charge of their pee and poop. They can also share the responsibility of cleaning up accidents. Some parents also suggest implementing a reward system for successful poops in the potty.

As always, if you find yourself with questions or concerns with your child's bowel movements or potty resistance, be sure to contact a pediatrician or health care provider. Together, you can figure out the right plan for your child's needs.

Additional reporting by Vincent Iannelli, MD.